Welcome to my journey to find the ONE RARE STEAK 🍽️

Steak. It's good simple food and good simple eatin'. America boasts over 50 steakhouse chains and franchises. And I am going to eat steak at every one of them in my journey and quest to find the one, the best, the rarest steak.

I review steaks 🥩 but only from fastfood and franchises

Scoring Criterion 📋:

  • Taste: This one should be simple, does it taste good?
  • Value: Is it worth the money I'm spending on it?
  • Ambiance: What are the vibes as I eat this steak? Calm? Pleasant? Rancid?
  • Would I eat it again: exactly what I wrote
  • Would I bring friends/family here: would I be eating this ashamed of the direction of my life and where it's going or would this be suitable and appropriate to share with friends and loved ones to continue the masquerade of my life being better than it actually is
  • Respectability: if I told someone I got a steak from here, would they lose respect for me or would I gain some?

Notes/Observations 📓:

  • State of Mind: Did I come here for a good meal with friends or am I here because my life has spun out of control
  • Hunger: Am I starving and any piece of tire rubber carved from spent cars sufficient? Or do I have some kind of standard?
  • Weather: Never underestimate how wind and humidity can impact the grill

Disclaimers ❌:

  • I like my steaks bloody rare, blue-rare as some folks saw but for the sake of this little experiment and fair review (and to be honest, I've yet to find a single chef with the courage to give me a blue black steak) I will be ordering these medium-rare. I will also group reviews by cut for consistency across chains and experiences which will mean multiple trips to the same chain potentially. Right now, the cuts on my list are:
  • Sirloin: a good standby, dependable
  • Flank: flavorsome, economic cut, a true test to make tender and good
  • Rib eye:: delicious, no more needed to be said
  • I WILL NOT BE REVIEWING FILET MIGNON. FILET MIGNONS ARE FOR THE FRENCH, SAD HOUSEWIVES ON THEIR 12TH ANNIVERSARY DINNER HIGH ON OXYCODONE, AND MEN WHO'VE LOST ALL GUMPTION AND DRIVE IN THEIR LIVES.

Check out the page periodically for updates and follow the journey 🍴